How to Cancel Out Feelings of Inadequacy Parenthood Ideas

How to Cancel Out Feelings of Inadequacy

December 6, 2010 – 3:19 am

The nameless superwoman described in Proverbs 31:10-31 has been the subject of many sermons. In this narrative, King Lemuel’s mother is giving her son advice regarding the character traits and behavior patterns that he should look for in the woman he planned to marry. I find verse 18 particularly encouraging for those who battle insecurity: “She perceives that her merchandise is good” (NKJV). Let’s look at five liberating truths found in this simple phrase:

1. perceives that her merchandise is good. She is not one who come to the table looking for validation or approval of her wares. When one is insecure and does not personally value what she brings to the table, others may be able to minimize it or convince her that it does not rate. This woman, like all humans, desires acceptance and validation, but she will not seek it or find herself debilitated if she does not get it.
2. The ideal woman that her merchandise is good. To perceive is to sense, know, or understand inwardly. She understands what she brings to the table and she inwardly values it. She will not doubt the value of its worth; neither will she find it necessary to brag about the quality of her merchandise. The ideal woman will not have her nose turned up in pride, but neither will her eyes be cast down with false humility. She simply has a balanced view of her wares. Notice that she does not pretend that her merchandise is good, for it is hypocritical and difficult to attempt to fake confidence. The façade will soon become evident to the discerning person. No, Mrs. Proverbs 31 simply perceives the worth of her wares. Beware. Even if you have the utmost confidence, someone may still attempt to minimize your worth and say that what you bring is of little or no value—but their opinion will not faze you when you are fully persuaded on the inside, when you perceive your value.
3. She perceives that merchandise is good. Here is a woman who is not intimidated by or unduly concerned about the goods of the other merchants. Consequently, she doesn’t spend her energies comparing or competing. Her merchandise speaks for itself. As a Christian, competing for anything in life outside of the area of sports is as pointless as trying to outrun another car on the freeway. Both drivers have a different destination. Why should you compete with another person for your destiny when God has already ordained it? I find great encouragement in the psalmist’s reminder, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16)
4. The verse states that she perceives that her merchandise good. This woman has current confidence. She is not stuck in the past, thinking about the good merchandise she used to have. Neither is she postponing the pursuit of her goals until her merchandise is perfect. She simply steps out in faith, having done the best she could. Her merchandise is good today; tomorrow is in God’s hands. Anxiety has no place in her life.
5. This mentally and morally strong woman perceives that her merchandise is . She embraces and values what she brings to the marketplace. She refuses to allow man, media, or merchants to define or set the standard for her merchandise. You see, your merchandise is whatever you offer to the world. It could simply be a positive attitude, integrity, confidentiality, loyalty, or any other intangible quality. And, although society may not set a great store by it or grant you special recognition because of it, you must perceive within yourself, as part of your personal, biblically based value system, that your merchandise is good.

Further, there really is no need to feel inadequate around anybody when you have an intimate relationship with the One who created everybody. Someone once said, “He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.”

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